Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Yet More Secession Madness!

My correspondents know that I have felt for some time that the craziest political ideas in American society in the last half-century have come from the higher-educational institutions that make up the "Ivy League," so-called because the buildings have stood long enough for ivy to cover their walls from ground to roof. From Cornell University, in Ithaca, NY, comes this most recent example.

Now Ithaca, NY, has always gone in for silly ideas. My favorite: the Ithaca HOUR, a currency totally local to the community. One HOUR equals $10 US, which was the average hourly wage in Thompkins County, NY at the time of its development. The silly part of the HOUR currency is not the idea of a local currency but its lack of backing. If you're going to create a local currency, I'd suggest backing it with precious-metal bullion or coin.

All that to say this: Ithaca, NY has always gone in for batty ideas, and no institution in Ithaca is more likely to come out with a batty idea than Cornell University. That's the Ivy League for you.

So what is Cornell's latest batty idea? A number of graduate students seriously propose secession of John Kerry's States from the United States and their joining to Canada. To that end, they have organized a contest to create a new flag for something called "The United States of Canada," and even propose to write a letter to Paul Martin, the current Prime Minister of Canada, formally petitioning him to admit John Kerry's States as Canadian provinces. What George Bush's States would call themselves, they don't care--but I remind everyone of the Der Spiegel graphic that gives the label of "Jesus Land" to George Bush's States.

The head of this effort insists that they are not serious. In other words, they lack the courage of their convictions, as I might have predicted. After all, Alec Baldwin demonstrated a similar lack of courage-of-conviction when he did not leave the country as he threatened to do in the last election. However, they boast that they are not the only ones to think along these lines, since they have heard from someone in Seattle, WA, who has similar ideas.

On this I have three comments. One, this kind of talk would indeed be seditious, if not treasonous--if these people were serious. Students at university are never serious about a thing like this. They might think they are, but they're not.

Two, if theirs were a viable political movement, they'd be talking about how to re-color some of the "red States" blue next time. Instead, they must face the stark reality that Wisconsin, Michigan, and New Hampshire remain very much "in play" from one election to the next. Bush did not lose any of those States by all that many votes--not even the number of votes by which he won in Ohio. (And I haven't given up on New Jersey yet, nor would I intend to tolerate any serious secessionist movement here.) The larger point is this: While the Democrats are so disconsolate that they wish they belonged to a separate country, the Republicans are talking boldly of winning over larger blocs of voters to their way of thinking. Which Party, then, is the viable one between the two?

And three: If George Bush's States are "Jesus Land," then I say: Jesus loves you, and would like nothing better than that you join your lands to His. And--He has more than one outpost here in the Blue Lands, including this one.